Adapted from Dirge Magazine, January 2016
Mummy Grace is Here to Cherish Your Little Side
(cw: discussion of ABDL)
When we were asked to spend the night in a cosy and eccentric little home in Nottinghamshire, England, we jumped at the chance. There was a catch, though. Staying over meant sleeping in a giant nursery, in an enormous cot, shared by a huge roommate – a teddy named Charlie Bear.
That’s because the house belongs to Mummy Grace, a warm, nurturing, professional Super Mum to the Adult Baby Community, determined to support and cherish as many Adult Babies as she can and to conquer the world, one nappy at a time.
That cot is super comfy, by the way.
Luckily for us, Mummy Grace had time to let some of her infinite love flow in Dirge Magazine’s direction…
DIRGE: Thanks for agreeing to speak with me, Mummy Grace. Before we get stuck in, what lingo should I know to navigate the Adult Baby Community?
MUMMY GRACE: Adult Babies can be known as ABs but I prefer the term ‘littles’. Littles are adults who feel they have an alter ego far younger than their chronological age. In my experience, their little side can range in age from circa ten years old to a pre-verbal self. Then there are Diaper Lovers (DLs), people for whom their age does not shift but they feel a desire to wear diapers – or nappies, as we call them in the UK. Much of the terminology seems to come from America and has been adopted as the lingua franca. The two acronyms together make a commonly recognised term which encompasses the broader community: ABDL (Adult Baby, Diaper Lover).
DIRGE: What are your clients like as people?
MUMMY GRACE: My clients are amazing and are representative of not just UK society but the world’s, as – I am proud to say – I welcome international visitors into my home. My clients could be truck drivers, builders, plumbers, CEOs, CFOs, lawyers, and doctors. The one thing they all have in common is they are delightful.
DIRGE: What does a typical day look like for you and your littles?
MUMMY GRACE: There’s no such thing as a typical day! All my littles are different, so my days are different.
There are commonalities to each visit, however. There’s a physical aspect to my role as a professional Mummy, that of nappying my littles, finding clothing to match their needs, feeding them, bathing them, and doing fun things like having tea parties, baking, and drawing.
There’s a psychological aspect, too. This is far harder to quantify but involves forging a deep, meaningful connection with my littles. This connection helps them release the little inside, freeing them to receive loving care and attention from Mummy Grace. I would say the main focus is the contact – the level of nurturing, the mothering, the physical contact, the love – that is central to the care I provide.
I am also in my final year of an MSc in psychotherapy. I believe it is this awareness of psychology, combined with my eleven years as a general nurse, which empowers me to provide holistic care for my littles, nurturing both their bodies and minds. I recognise my duty to ensure that littles not only have an enjoyable visit, but one which respects and protects their inner world.
I am in a very privileged position and I do not for one moment take my responsibilities lightly. Adult babies who have been brave enough to connect with me have nothing but my respect and deepest affection.
And, of course, whilst I adore being a professional Mummy, there’s always lots of cleaning-up and washing to do. A Mummy’s work is never done!
DIRGE: What’s it like for your littles to receive all of that from you?
MUMMY GRACE: So many of my littles tell me they sleep better; they’re less anxious; their work and home relationships improve. I would guess this is because, in sharing this aspect of themselves with someone who cherishes and respects this vulnerable side of them, there has been reparative healing.
DIRGE: What kind of supplies do you have in your home for your littles?
MUMMY GRACE: I want my littles to have the best of everything, which means using branded products and everything their little hearts desire. Right now I’m struggling to find a carpenter to make a bespoke changing table, but other than that my nursery is fully equipped. I have a giant cot, a changing mat, a highchair, a soft-play area, and so many cuddly toys and activities I wouldn’t know where to start.
DIRGE: How did you get in to being a Mummy?
MUMMY GRACE: It started when my friend did a brave thing and risked showing me one of their little sides. In that moment I found myself cooing to this divine angel, playing peek-a-boo, and tickling him. I became his adoring mother and nothing has been the same in my life since; a door opened and I eagerly stepped through.
DIRGE: So what’s it like to be a full-time Mummy to your full-time little?
MUMMY GRACE: Becoming his Mummy has been the greatest gift I have ever received. He taught me what it is truly like to open my heart, to give and receive pure, unconditional love. I love my son dearly. He doesn’t need me to mother his very little sides quite so much now, so I have lots of love to give my other babies.
DIRGE: How do your other family and friends feel about your job?
MUMMY GRACE: My friends are all amazing and fully accept my role as Mummy to some of the most amazing people this planet has to offer. They fully embrace what I do and recognise it comes from a place of love. There is no shame here. I love what I do and I am proud to say I am Mummy Grace.
My family do not know. They live on the other side of the world and this feels like a conversation to be had in person. When the time is right, I will tell them.
DIRGE: I understand it could be a big thing to tell people. What are the most common misconceptions about your job?
MUMMY GRACE: I guess the biggest misconception about my job is that I am a sex worker. I am a Mummy to littles, and as with all littles one needs to protect and cherish their innocence. The safety and ethical care of my ABs is paramount. My nursery – my home – is a place where littles can give free reign to their inner small person and have their innocence protected . I know there are some ABDLs for whom BDSM or having a sexual component in their play is very important. I will, however, only speak of what I know, and I provide care for non-sexual littles who need nurturing.
I think the most taboo misconception about littles is that there is unhealthy interest in children. Some poorly-informed people are under the misconception that, because someone wants to wear a nappy, they must be a paedophile. Such a conflated view demonstrates why there is fear within the community; many littles and DLs are terrified that, should others know of their alter ego, they would be ostracised and lose relationships, marriages, and jobs.
I also wonder if littles are dealing with a further layer of misconception about their needs, fearing being seen as “weak” or “pathetic”. In reality it is a very strong individual who recognises their needs and does something to address them. I wonder if this may be another reason there appears to be less acceptance of the ABDL world than for other alternative lifestyles such as BDSM.
I am mindful that I am in a position of power, being able to share something of this private world. It is private for a reason; littles and DLs are terrified of being misunderstood by poorly-informed people making ill-informed judgements. There is a dearth of plain information available. It is a self-fulfilling prophesy for, without educating the public, such misconceptions will continue. The mainstream media’s view is that of only salacious curiosity.
DIRGE: Do you get many clients approaching you with the wrong end of the stick?
MUMMY GRACE: I do receive some interesting requests and, when that fits within my ethos of a loving Mummy, I will do my utmost to make that happen. What I will not accede to are requests for “humiliation”, “domination”, anything of a BDSM nature, or sexual requests. To my mind these are not the requests of a little but of an adult with a kink, a fetish. I view the two worlds as being entirely different.
I think one area of overlap is where littles visited a Domme to have their AB needs met. In my experience this initial involvement has confused their little side, so they’ll find it harder to separate the needs of their little side from the sexual or BDSM experience they received.
I hope that does not appear as a negative judgement – there is no judgement here.
DIRGE: You seem to hold littles in such high regard. What’s the best thing a little has ever done for you?
MUMMY GRACE: The greatest gift I ever receive is when a little arrives, possibly full of fear, shame, and anxiety, but after a cup of tea and a chat they take the risk of sharing their little side with me. I do not take lightly just how brave littles are to contact and visit me. After working up the courage to see me, a visit can evoke powerful positive feelings. I encourage my littles to stay in touch; Mummy is here for them.
DIRGE: Being a professional Mummy sounds exhausting. What do you do when your littles aren’t around?
MUMMY GRACE: I’m very boring. I hit the gym a few times a week. I like to watch films and read – I’ve just finished a very good Jon Ronson book. And, of course, being with friends is always awesome.
DIRGE: How can littles in need of affection and nurturing find out about you?
DIRGE: If I wanted to be a professional Mummy (or Daddy), where could I start?
MUMMY GRACE: I think I would first ask, why? What is your motivation? If this comes from a desire to have power over another, or from a sexual element rather than a nurturing desire, I would challenge that. I feel littles need to be protected, not dominated or used for sexual gratification. I am aware this happens and I find it very sad. If, having looked within, you find any of these desires, I respectfully suggest you have an honest conversation about what you are hoping to get from such an encounter – and then make that happen. I am not for one moment advocating not making your desires happen – more that you seek an appropriate outlet.
If having looked within you are assured of benign intent, I would seek out some of the great communities available – this goes for anyone wanting to explore their inner little, too. Fetlife is awesome and no matter what your interest you will find like-minded individuals and communities. You are not alone – there are millions of us. And we rock!
DIRGE: Lastly, and perhaps most importantly: can Dirge have a hug from Charlie Bear?
MUMMY GRACE: Of course! Charlie Bear loves hugs.
All photos taken, with permission, from Mummy Grace’s Twitter account.